Random Gotham notes

Hi everybody. Sorry I haven’t updated. I’m leaving tomorrow to go back to the southern hemisphere, but a few fast notes in the meantime…
*I had supper with Roy Edroso. We made an arrangement: I promised not to razz him about the election, and he promised not to razz me about the Yankees. We visited the new Time Warner Center in Columbus Circle, which is every bit as swish as I’d hoped. Truly, a high temple of capitalism at which I hope to pray often.
*Also met frequent commenter Dave J., in transit from Boston to DC. Lovely guy and a real pizza conoisseur.
*Went twice to Caffe Taci, where I hung out with community lions Roy and Niger Innis, diva maxima Elizabeth Schultz, and tenor-turned-WNYC overnight DJ-turned-tenor again Brad Cresswell. Not to mention redoubtable owner Leopoldo Mucci, who fed me carpaccio and tiramisu and watered me with copious quantities of wine.
*Attended one of the New Criterion’s Fitzpatrick’s nights, where I met several very lovely people whose names escape me, plus a semi-toasted Aaron Haspel.
*After much deliberation, I decided not to attend a performance at the funny farm. Dysfunctional families are best left in one’s past.
*I was very sorry, however, that financial constraints kept me from seeing a performance of the Roundabout Theatre’s 12 Angry Men.
*If anyone wants to get me a Sephora gift certificate for Christmas, Hanukkah, Saturnalia, Kwanzaa or any other occasion, I will graciously accept.
*In more retail news, I visited the brand spanking new Target and Marshall’s near my old Bronx ‘hood. It is awesomely huge. Take the 1/9 train to 225th street (make sure it’s not a skip-stop) and shop yourself to death.
*This looks like just about the funniest thing ever:
“The Hebrew Hammer” is geared toward an audience that knows their Jewish ABCs. It is a comical reward for people who attended Hebrew school two hours a day, three days a week for six years. The movie, which originally aired on Comedy Central, is an action-comedy spoof of Jewish religion and culture. Writer-director Jonathan Kesselman uses classic stereotypes to create a humorous story about Mordechai Jefferson Carver (Adam Goldberg), better known as “The Hebrew Hammer.”
Our titular hero, whose office door reads “Certified Circumcised Dick,” is called to duty by the Jewish Justice League when Santa Claus is murdered by his evil son, Damian Claus (Andy Dick), who then sets out to rid the world of Chanukah. With the help of Esther (Judy Greer) and the head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, Mohammed (Mario Van Peebles), Hammer is on a mission to save the holiday.
The film covers all its bases as a religious action-comedy, featuring a traditional Shabbat dinner with a Jewish mother, exciting comic fight sequences, and even Hammer in a sex scene. Within the genre’s framework, Kesselman has plenty of opportunities to include hysterical moments. In one scene, talking dirty to a woman means suggesting that she move to Long Island and send her kids to Stanford. And Hammer delivers great one-liners, like the nonsensical but bound-to-be-classic “I like my women like I like my matzo—unleavened.”

Thanks for a great two weeks, New York, and I’ll be back soon.

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