Because I’m Contrary As All Hell, That’s Why

Not dead, just not feeling particularly ranty. Until today, that is. Ya know, I can take just about anything European types say about America with a grain of salt, because, well, they’re all just so (insert American stereotype of Europe here: cute, quaint, completely meaningless, etc.) and European, but I’ve got to draw the line at a transatlantic mail campaign to harrass a bunch of folks in some random Ohio county.
Seriously, Guardian, THE HELL? Extreme Self-Importance, much? Here’s the Best. Bullet. Point. Ever.:
Explain why you think they should pay the slightest bit of attention to what you think about their election. Remember, charm will be far more effective than hectoring.
Irony actually cracked a rib laughing at that coming from The Guardian, where hectoring is second only to breathing.
It’s a cute publicity stunt, I guess, if by “cute” you mean “typically condescending claptrap from a bunch of pseudo-intellectual brits,” but it does have some unfortunate consequences, I’m afraid.
See, if our all-knowing betters had actually paused to study the history that they continually SAY they know ever-so-much-more-thoroughly than we do, they might have noticed something about the American character–you know, beyond our obvious six-gun waving, tobacco-spitting, crotch-grabbing bravado and inexplicable belief that things generally don’t suck–they might have noticed that we tend to react badly when Britain tries to tell us who our leader should be. We’re a bit touchy that way.
And although it would be amusing to see how many folks would deliberately change their vote to piss off some random Brit (and I’m sure there are some out there who would), I fear that my own contrary nature, coupled with my Southern distaste for rudeness, have come to the fore. So I have decided to Take One for The Team: I submitted my email address to the Guardian and thus spared one of my Buckeye Brethren from a horrifying confrontation with written condescension. You’re welcome, Miller family.
CAVEAT: I know this is The Guardian, with all of the disclaimers that entails, but still–sheesh! I thought it was The Onion at first.
Via Emily



  1. Dave J

    Would it be wrong to repeatedly fill out that field with [last names of media hacks] Just asking. 😉

  2. Veng

    One wonders if the point isn’t to provoke the very reaction you cite? The Guardian wouldn’t want to drive a wedge between the USA and the UK, now would they? It makes me wonder who the county they picked favored in the last presidential election.

  3. Al Maviva

    Condescending motherfuckers – as if the average Guardian reader knows anything about the U.S., other than his own smug assurances about what it must be like in this poverty-riven, guncrime-plagued bible bashing hellhole of a third world nation.

  4. James

    Veng: I don’t think they pulled this stunt last time round, judging from what they say on that page. For more of their attitude, look here:
    “For who could honestly describe the 2004 contest of George Bush and John Kerry as a domestic affair? There’s a reason why every newspaper in the world will have the same story on its front page on November 3. This election will be decisive not just for the United States but for the future of the world.”
    “So perhaps it’s time to make a modest proposal. If everyone in the world will be affected by this election, shouldn’t everyone in the world have a vote? Despite Bob Dole, shouldn’t the men who want to be president win the support of Liverpool and Leipzig as well as Louisville and Lexington?”
    Disturbing. Still, two of me have retrieved addresses; I’m debating whether to write, being British (albeit not quite with the message the Grauniad would like, more the one you’d expect from the fact one of my cousins served in GWB’s state and federal administrations!) – does anyone know what the recipients’ take on all this is? I’d love to see it backfire as suggested…

  5. Sofia Sideshow

    Oh Dear, Poor Yanks

    There’s an interesting article written by Carol Gould called An American In London. It is a disturbing read that I have trouble believing. It seems so utterly depraved. “The day after 9/11 I was obliged to keep a consultants appointment and the minic…