I’ll See Your Insane Dare, and Raise You One Dumb Cowboy

It appears that the EU is quite unsure of how to respond to the Iranians’ response to the FGB (France Britain Germany) request, asking the Iranians to cease and desist in the nuk-u-lar weapons business.
The Iranians have responded with a counteroffer to… um, well, let’s just say it looks like an offer of free sex, but it is actually a rather rude demand letter ordering the EU to arm up Iran with nukes. There are some other demands – the Iranians are moving to solidify the Tehran/Jedda/Damscus/Auschwitz axis, and now demand that the EU enter into a treaty promising to kick the shit out of Israel if the Israelis create any problems for Iran.
Now, other than the Euro elite’s sincere desire to kill some jews, er, excuse me, I mean to wipe out Israel, nothin’ anti-semitic about that desire, right – other than wondering how to fulfill that desire, the EUro elite are a little perplexed about how to respond.
I know I am terminally un-nuanced, but might I suggest that the response of the American Commander to the German Commander at Bastogne in 1944 would be appropriate here? Yes, that’s right. The most unnuanced response of all.
“Nuts.”
Sadly though, that’s not going to happen.
Instead, as I write this, chambermaids all over the diplomatic residences of the EU are fretting, knowing that their diplomat bosses are busy having nightmares and wetting the bed. In this hot weather, tomorrow will be a very tough day at the old laverie automatique for the femmes de chambre.
What this means, for all practical purposes, is that the U.S. is going to have another Middle Eastern shitpile to try and pick up. Maybe the Russkis will help, if we promise to give them Iran. They have been lusting after a warm water port, and ever more oil. And at least Russian oligarchs and corruptocrats are in it for business purposes; they aren’t completely insane and would probably be easier to deal with than insane elderly mullahs and their fat, tooth-rotted Iraqi proteges.
A final note – Ed Morrisey thinks this ultimatum means Iran has nukes. I’m not so sure – it could be a clever bluff to make us think they have nukes. After all, who’d be crazy enough to make an ultimatum like that?* Either way, they’ve got some stones.
*You know, John-John has promised to send Iran nuclear technology if they agree to play nice with it. I wonder if this is their signal that they are willing to play ball, providing the next U.S. president is feckless enough to bring a glove and be catcher?

Advertisements

5 comments

  1. sds

    While I don’t want Iran to have nuclear weapons, I’m not sure I can justify to myself that they shouldn’t be allowed to have them. If I were they, I’d sure want to be able to deter attacks.
    But what harm does it do to thumb your nose at France or Germany? Britain might do something, but France is always whining about how terrible war is (having gotten their asses kicked so often) and Germany is constantly re-experiencing their guilt over Hitler — these countries won’t do anything to Iran.
    Unfortunately, Bush (or Kerry) will probably have to deal with Iran next. It’s almost like we should be taking odds on the race between North Korea and Iran for top spot on the “we’d like the US to attack us list.”

  2. Al Maviva

    It does seem a little unfair, no, that the U.S. is expected to do *all* the heavy lifting on this, doesn’t it?
    I wouldn’t mind the Iranians having nukes, either, if I didn’t know the mullahs were violent, deranged lunatics who want to see free thinking people like you and me hanged, drawn, and quartered…

  3. sds

    Yep. I’m finally, slowly, starting to see the US getting criticized for not going into Sudan and solving the genocide there.
    Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.