Great lines

“This isn’t some parallel universe where you’re getting any younger!”
–Inez Wong, to her daughter Amy, Futurama
“A military alliance with Europe is like going on a diet with Michael Moore: one of you will wind up doing most of the work.”
–Glenn Reynolds, Instapundit
“That is one big, beautiful piece of meat.”
–TV chef Ming Tsai, referring, somewhat disappointingly, to a dish of short ribs
“In Parsifal there is a hermit named Gurnemanz who stands on the stage in one spot and practices by the hour, while first one and then another character of the cast endures what he can of it and then retires to die. ”
–Mark Twain, “At The Shrine of St. Wagner”
“Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands, and all you can do is scratch it! ”
–Conductor Sir Thomas Beecham, to a cellist