War & Other Things

Now I know why the Euro-intelligentsia hates Bush. It’s because the EU, if it was a state in the United States, would be poorer than Texas , have a lower birth rate and higher death rate. On the other hand, I understand why Le Monde sounds so much like Robert Byrd, the Senior Senator from the Great State of West Virginia. It’s because Le Monde’s intended audience has roughly the same GDP, and apparently the same world view, as Byrd’s West Virginia constituents.
Maybe Marx was right, that politics is all about how much money you have.
Hey, what’s up with the Dems getting all tough today about the Saudis today? Could it be that the Bush family business ties to Saudi oil, a major preoccupation of Michael Moore’s latest onanism, is seen as giving the Dems some traction at the polls? Who was responsible for letting the Bin Laden family out of the country after 9/11? It was the evil Bush administration, according to Moore. Of course, anybody who has been awak for the last couple months knows it was left wing hero and massive egotist, Dick Clarke – a man opposed to the Bush Administration on many fronts. Matter of fact, I just heard ___ Rubin, a former State Department official during the Clinton Era – an era during which the U.S. Government thought there were Al Qaida / Saddam ties – say that “Bush needs to get it through his thick head, there were no Al Qaida / Iraq ties. Okay bub, whatever.
On that subject, how ’bout them Saudis? They are telling everybody that it’s a bunch of Zionists running around the Middle East, beheading Americans, blowing up Iraqis, and destabilizing Afghanistan. Sure, I’ll buy that, soon as I finish this last hit of freaking LSD…
The nice thing about car bombs that kill dozens, beheadings of Americans, and the Scott Peterson trial, is that it gets the really important news – that a relative handful of prisoners at Abu Ghraib got humiliated and slappy-faced – off my mind for 30 seconds. But that’s okay – I’m sure it’s the feature story on Nightline tonight and 60 Minutes this weekend.

(Oh by the way, anybody hear anything about Putin’s statements today, indicating his intelligence services warned the U.S. on several occasions prior to last March, that Saddam was planning terrorist attacks in the U.S.? No, I didn’t think so. That merited about a 30 second spot this morning on CNN; I suspect it is destined for the memory hole. Bush lied, people died, remember? That’s the party line, let’s stick to it. Besides, we wouldn’t want the mainstream media getting distracted from its main job, which is cheering for Kerry.)
Honestly, a lot of Europeans supposedly really hate America now. In a way, I kind of hope they are cheering at our grief. That way I won’t feel any pain when Al Qaida turns its red eyes toward Europe. How much for a flight from Brussels, to the Eiffel Tower, I wonder? It’s coming, folks. It’s a matter of time. Right now it’s divide and conquer – and the only reason they aren’t screwing with Europe is that most Europeans are afraid to pose a threat to Al Qaida and Islamofascism. In the face of a U.S. withdrawal from the Middle East, Al Qaida would turn its eyes to its main goal, avenging the Tragedy of Andalusia, and the crushing of the Turks at the gates of Vienna.
I hate to talk about Bill Clinton – attention is what he wants – but this can’t pass. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a big Clinton Hater. Other than complete dereliction of duty in the fight against Al Qaida, I’m able to say, out loud, that his presidency wasn’t a total disaster. See – I said it, and I didn’t even sound like that kid in Exorcist.
On the other hand, The Big Creep, as Monica Lewinsky called him, was one of the most pathetic, slimy, needy, awful basket cases of a human being ever to occupy the Oval Office. Or the Ovulating Office, or whatever the hell they called it when he was chasing fecund interns in thongs around the desk. In short, I’d rather forget about him – just like when a bad neighbor moves to a new neighborhood.
But his comments this week, about how the impeachment was illegitimate and he wears it as a badge of honor, chap my ass severely.
Had I been (1) fucking around on my wife; (2) caught lying about it; (3) perjuring myself in a sexual harassment suit from some woman I groped; (4) caught perjuring myself in a deposition; and (5) sanctioned by my peers; and (6) disbarred from the two bars in which I am a member — well, then I’ reasonably sure I wouldn’t say that I wear the situation as a badge of courage.
If I said anything, and happened to be in a charitable mood toward myself, I’d say “I screwed up horribly, awfully, and piled mistake upon mistake, and I beg everyone’s forgiveness, expecting that most of you, justifiably, will withhold it.”
More likely, I’d say something along the lines of “I am mortified and ashamed at what I have done, and I will be removing myself shortly from your presence; I am not fit for decent company. Please forward my mail to Alaska, where I shall be living in a cabin contemplating the error of my ways.”
Yep, that’s what I’d do. I just can’t imagine how that SOB can talk about it as if he deserved the Presidential Freedom Medal… Is he even human?



  1. Andrew Black

    This week’s Economist has an interesting rebuttal of these ‘EU is much poorer than US’ stories. The short of it seems to be that Europeans, who are more productive than Americans (on an output per hour basis), have traded some of their gains for increased leisure time.
    Worth a look even if you don’t agree.

  2. robert

    Be careful, two nuclear powers, two good air forces, one good navy, two fine intelligence services, one of the biggest trading partners, several treaties with the U.S., NATO allies. The EU brings a lot to the table and is larger in population and GDP. A really ticked Europe is bad news for the US.