The New ‘Term Of Endearment’

The University of Colorado continues to cover itself in shame and sex scandals over it’s football program. The latest idiocy comes straight from the President of the school.
Elizabeth Hoffman, the President of the University of Colorado, appeared in the defense of CU football players who allegedly sexually and verbally assaulted three women. While she was on the stand she tried to explain away one of the players calling one of the women a cunt. She thought that it could be used as a term of affection.


We all know that the definition of a cunt is either slang for the female genitalia or a swear word used on a woman you don’t like. Urbandictionary.com suggests that it is the most offensive word in the English language.
I would have loved to have done the cross exam on her. I think it would have gone something like this.
SS: Mrs. Hoffman one of the victims in this case stated that during the assault she was called a cunt by her attackers. Don’t you think the use of this word indicates that she was being assaulted, rather than voluntarily engaging in sex with the defendant?
Hoffman: No, I don’t think that word, has to express that idea.
SS: Mrs. Hoffman, you don’t think cunt is a pejorative term? A swear word?
Hoffman: No, some times it could be used as swear word and sometimes not. The meaning can change depending on the circumstances of how it is used.
SS: Really? Did you husband every call you a cunt, say just after you made Christmas dinner for the whole family? Just to be affectionate?
Opposing Counsel: Objection!
SS: I don’t see how that’s objectionable, she just got done saying it doesn’t have to be a swear word.
Judge: Mr. Saporito….
SS: I’d like some latitude your honor, so she can clarify how it can be used in a friendly way.
Judge: Very well, but, keep it brief.
SS: So, it could be used differently than as a swear word?
Hoffman: Yes, I’ve actually heard it used as a term of endearment. The current use of the word has “negative connotations” but in its original use, centuries ago, it was not a negative. As a medieval scholar, I am aware of the long history of the word dating back to at least Chaucer. He used the word in “The Canterbury Tales.”
SS: Mrs. Hoffman, I took Chaucer in college. If you used cunny or cunt in regular conversation you would not just pass it off like that. Polite society didn’t just drop that word at tea.
Hoffman: I’m telling you they did.
SS: Chaucer used fart and piss and they still are dirty words today. There was a lot of “ribald humor” in his work that was not acceptable in polite society.
For example there is a scene in Canterbury Tales where a man leans out a window and farts in another guys face. That man happens to be a blacksmith, so he goes to his forge and gets a red hot coal, pulls it out with tongs and goes back to the farter’s house. When the farter tries it again the smith shoves the hot coal up the man’s ass.
Would you call that a classic gesture of friendship and good will if this was a trial for fraternity hazing where that took place?
Opposing Counsel: Objection!
SS: That’s all, no more questions for the cunt your honor.
Yes, that last one would have gotten me sanctioned and disciplined. Because cunt really is a bad word, no matter what spin you put on it.
But not nearly as bad as a women who tries to excuse the crimes of these men simply so her school can continue competing in football. We all know what name she deserves.

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4 comments

  1. Sam

    Yep, a new low at our centers of higher learning, but then again, colleges have been babying their football teams for a while. You hear about it more in Texas though. NOt only do college football players often get a financial free ride, as well as A’s in classes they didn’t attend, preferential treatment in regards to housing and food, and in the case of my alma mater,a brand-new Lexus, but now the college faculty has decided to excuse their criminal behavior on top of it. And they do it because college football can earn more money than they get from the students, even as tuition is on the rise.
    I forsee a day when the average student gets pissed off enough about this, gathers his friends and/or drinking buddies, and descend upon the athletic dorms with torches like you see in the old Frankenstein movies. Alas, I don’t think I’ll live to see that day. Even with the thinly veiled communism that’s taught at (some) colleges, the average student does not grasp this athletic class is a privledged group within the collegate State, akin to the bouguisie (sic?).
    No, I’m not bitter that I had to shell out my hard-earned money for 4 years of headucation while some undeserving moron got a free ride. 🙂

  2. Banana Oil!

    “Term of Affection”

    Great Scott.
    Elizabeth Hoffman, the President of the University of Colorado, appeared in the defense of CU football players who allegedly sexually and verbally assaulted three women. While she was on the stand she tried to explain away one of the pl…

  3. steven saporito

    I was waiting for you to say that.
    Glad you did.
    I left off George, only for brevity’s sake. I already had Geoffery Chaucer in the mix.
    Plus the Pres obviously has no sense of humor, so Carlin would have gone over her head.