Dear Mr. Blanco

Dear Mr. Jose Blanco:
Sir, I humbly submit to you, that it is bad form for a nation to advertise its complete pussification.
In case you never studied the psychology of bullies – which would be odd considering you call all your opponents fascists, so either you or they actually are bullies – in case you never studied them, they are weak and they only seem strong because they prey on weakness.
Hence, it’s bad policy to advertise your weakness widely and publicly, especially right after a bully pops you a good one. The bully may take that as notice that you are ripe for attack; and that you are in fact inviting him to use your face as a chair.


The proper response to a bully, in case you weren’t aware, involves scorched earth. I learned this in grade school. When the bully hits you, fight back. Knock a tooth out, if you can. Kick him in the Giloolies. Jump him and sucker punch him if you have to. Scare up a fungo bat, or a C- battery in a sock. Whatever it takes.
If you let a bully get away with it, you will be his bitch both in his mind, and in yours. Then it’s over, bitch.
One other thing. If you are having trouble with a bully, don’t stand up, call your friends immoral, stupid and dangerous lunatics, and drive them away after the bully has popped you one. Especially don’t do this if the bully has said he’s going to wipe you out and take all your shit, and make your girlfriend his girlfriend. And really, truly especially don’t do this if your friends are just about the only people around who actually enjoy beating the fuck out of bullies.
That’s all I gots. Unlike you, I’m a simplistic American. No sophistication, no smarts, no culture, no couth, and one less friend than yesterday. But you know, for all that, I have one thing: I know that a punch in the gob from a man sworn to eviscerate you is a punch in the gob’s worth of foreplay for a real screwing over, not a rough, affectionate kiss. And knowing that has gotta be worth something. I’ll tell you how much in a year or two, when you are looking for some way to capitulate to Al Qaida’s next demand.

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40 comments

  1. Mithras

    Unlike you, I’m a simplistic American. No sophistication, no smarts, no culture, no couth, and one less friend than yesterday.
    No meds, either, apparently.
    I can’t believe I’m saying it, but Jacob Levy sums it up for me.

  2. Al Maviva

    Jacob Levy’s comment is inapt. He compares the Socialists’ rise in Spain, to Churchill getting jettisoned at the tail end of WWII. This is inapt because WWII was almost over at that point; and whether or not Britain would stick it out to the bitter end was not in question.
    An apt comparison would have been if the British had elected a staunchly anti-war candidate in May 1944, who promised to get Britain out of the disastrous failure of WWII. After all, Greece was lost, as was Yugoslavia, as was Indonesia, and France had fallen. Why, it’s a disastrous failure. Such proclamations would have been trumpted by Lord Haw Haw, and no doubt quoted by Hitler and his propaganda ministers at rallies; taped up in foxholes on the West Front; and used against the Russians as well.
    At a minimum, Zapatero’s and Blanco’s intemperate comments will serve as locker room clippings for the Fedayeen, and for Al Qaida operating in Iraq.
    Nicely done, lads.

  3. JEM

    Mithras-
    What are you smoking? Best hope the simplistic Americans eliminate the source of the terror in the middle east before the source devours Europe. They don’t want to compromise – or haven’t you been listening. They want to kill us, all of us, or forcibly have us worship their “god.” When a bully kicks you, you kick back. Then they will stop. Spain is now AQ’s “wife” in the prison sense. They are cowards as are most Western European’s. All that they hold dear will be destroyed, unless they decide their society is worth defending.

  4. Mithras

    Spain is now AQ’s “wife” in the prison sense. They are cowards as are most Western European’s. All that they hold dear will be destroyed, unless they decide their society is worth defending.
    So interesting how American conservatives are willing to piss on Spaniards’ graves. And it demonstrates exactly how thin American loyalty is to its allies, when we turn on them at the first sign of disagreement and call them cowards.
    Meanwhile, thousands of Spanish troops continue to serve in Afghanistan (home of an actual al Qaeda haven), Kosovo and Bosnia. What cowards, huh?

  5. M. Simon

    Mithras,
    Do you suppose another 200 dead will convince the Spanish that perhaps helping in Afghanistan is not wise either?
    In any case because of your capitulation (large or small) we expect to get bombed duing our election season.
    If I was you I would work very hard to see it doesn’t happen. Americans are perverse. We will probably invade another country for fun just to scare the bejesus out of another Islamic government or two. Not wise to piss off the Americans. The Arab street? Hah! Wait till you see the American street. We have our own fleet. Twelve of them in fact. And our own Army all 10 divisions worth. Did I mention that our Navy is so rich it has it’s own Army – the Marines. A finer bunch of bastards you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. And then our world wide air delivery system for parcels ofpersuasion. The American Air Force. I will repeat : it is unwise to piss off the American street. It can lead to war. Has more than once in fact.
    Ah well. As our very own Patton said: “I pity the poor sons o bitches. I really do”

  6. trying to grok

    ROUND-UP

    There’s a lot of buzz out there about Spain; I found tons of interesting things via The Best. I don’t have the time before work to comment on everything individually, but I recommend that you read all of these: The…

  7. Steve

    Other than a curious approach to logic, misguided thinking as to cause-effect relationships, and assorted cumulative minor errors that add up to even greater misguided thinking your Jacob Levy is a fool who needs to look very carefully before crossing a street and avoid heavily trafficked areas altogether.

  8. mrsizer

    Jacob Levy MAY be right.
    However, it doesn’t matter: It appears to be appeasement whether it was or not. The Spanish press can put out exit-polls from now to the next terrorist attack (I’ve heard their North African colonies would make good targets) showing that it was not appeasement but it won’t matter. The bully hit and the victim cowered. It may well be that the victim was going to cower anyway, but you can’t prove it to the bully.
    Another point: Even if the Spanish vote wasn’t appeasement, the Eurpean response sure has been (ooh! let’s have conferences!).

  9. Canthros from Hulver's site

    Look at me! I’m flamebait!

    Ah, politics. I think it’s about as pleasant as a river of septic waste, and as desirable, too.
    Mood: smugly condescending Music: Grandaddy. “Now It’s On”, Sumday. Time: 02:00-ish EDT (-06:00GMT)

    Inside: Ranting about Spain! I’m not just…

  10. David Govett

    Europe’s spine emigrated to America in the 19th and 20th centuries and its cojones were mashed underfoot in two world wars. Is it surprising that only the craven remain? The sniveling and whimpering one hears nowadays from the so-called Continent are the protestations of the historically irrelevant.

  11. Steve

    David – yes, but there have been more than a few times when we yanks have been damned glad to have the Brits (especially), but also the Germans and even (choke) the French on occasion. Outside of Iraq there are some “friendlies” going back many years helping in Afghanistan.
    Can’t find the blog but someone suggested that Tony Blair should have emigrated as a youth to the states. He could run against Bush and (choke again) Kerry, beat them both, and the world would have a forward looking and capable leader as to foreign policy, but a really screwed up socialist economy…. 😉

  12. Al Maviva

    Mithras,
    Good to see you’ve been keeping up on your Atrios lately, judging from the “pissing on the graves of dead Spaniards” comment. I guess that’s a meme now on the left – “why preznit hate Hispanics?”
    I’d like to point out that we aren’t doing that here.
    We are pissing on that percentage of live Spaniards who think it’s better to live on their knees as Kufrs (look it up) than it is to live, and yes, possibly die, trying to stem the tide of Islamofascism.
    It’s instructive to note that during this week of Spain’s capitulation, the left-liberal German Das Bild is saying that Germany had better take a closer look at American and British notions of fighting terrorism; and that Germany’s conviction, that if it only laid low it would be safe, is probably just a dangerous fantasy.

  13. freddie-poo

    Why this simplistic either/or? The Spanish clearly did not like the American invasion of Iraq (a number of EUY nations did not), and the voters might have (in many instance) be voting against American policy and wanting their new govt to bring home their troops. On the other hand, many of the voters might have truly believed that by distancing themselves from America and its policies, they would somehow make themselves more secure from attackis by Islamist attacks. Why then must it be all of one or the other view as though there are seldom or never mixed motives among voters when they vote?

  14. Kevin

    Pissing on the graves of the spanish dead. See I think the socialists are pissing on the graves of thier dead, by trying to appease the unappeasable, (they just want us to die after all) they dishonor thier dead. I mourn the fallen and wish to honor thier memory by making sure those who did the killing do not get a second chance. I do not surrender. But I am an American, I remember evil exists and it is Islamic Jihadist. They wish to die for Allah, we will fulfill thier wish.

  15. Tadeusz

    Fred,
    Large organizations like nations and terror cults share certain similiarities with mobs. Only simple messages can be passed around.
    Two people can have a nuanced and detailed conversation, but not twenty-five people.
    Also, your OTOH, is not another hand, but merely another finger on the same hand which hand is raised against Spanish involvement.
    And no doubt they thought they were making themselves safer; unfortunately they were wrong.
    Tadeusz

  16. JEM

    Mithras-
    I do not dishonor the fallen in Spain, their countrymen already did. And Spain has already turned its back on its ally. It is going to withdraw troops it committed to Iraq in our support. It is going to cower, look at their new leader’s comments. They are cowards collectively and deserve no concern – if they will not fight to even save themselves, what should I expect them to do to help me. They are no longer allies, and that was because of their action, not mine. To those within Spain who are embarassed of their country’s recent abdication, my sincerest sympathies, as well as my condolences to those who were lost and to their loved ones.

  17. Boyrobot

    Spain doesn’t get it. “Failure to build a tough reputation might lead to the very acts of hostility one wishes to avoid.” See e.g.
    D. Newman, T. Van Geel, “Executive Order 12,333: The Risks of a Clear Declaration of Intent — Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy, Spring 1989

  18. Art

    That anyone could actually see the Spanish debacle as anything other than a clear cut-and-run, defies common-sense!
    And those that try to “nuance” the obvious are either fools, or enemies.

  19. Gordon

    On the subject of the Spanish people’s cowardice or at least, blue funk please read Alexandre Adler’s article in Le Figaro yesterday

  20. Phil Winsor

    What will Spain do when al Qaeda demands the release of the perpetrators, or face another bombonmg?

  21. Rockbiter

    Mithras,
    Yes, my friend, we dumb Americans of the big ol’ dumb puppy U-nah-ted States of A-mehrica just don’t get it (That’s done in my best Jethro Bodine, Brane Serjun Extryordinaire).
    Hmm…lessee–Spain gets targeted by bullies who really don’t care about playing nice, as long as they can keep on blowing up a few innocents to prove a point — they have nothing to live for, because the policies of the floppy-eared dumb puppy make life really bad for them, and they just want a fast way to get to those 79 virgins. It just don’t matter that Arab society is pretty much non-functional, and hasn’t really contributed much of anything to anybody in the 20th century, save for oil and terrorism. And they didn’t even know the oil was there before the West arrived. And then the big shots who were born into the right families get all the marbles — “we’re not sharing!” Nonetheless, it’s our fault, because we’re infidels.
    If I remember correctly, we were kicked in the nuts on 9-11. Did we cower? Noooo, we resolved to fight back — and did. Kicked some ass, I might add. Oops, is that a bad thing? Did we hurt some feelings? Damn, I hate when that happens…Bad puppy, bad puppy!!!
    So, Spain gets it in the jimmy this time, and the people say, “hey, this isn’t good — damn government MADE this happen!” So they vote in a new government that says, “please don’t hurt us again, Mr. Terrorist, er, uh — Freedom Fighter. We’ll be reeeel good. We know it’s not your fault. You’re just angry because of that stupid dumb puppy who makes life difficult for you. Can we be friends? Hey, we’ll even sponsor some conferences where you can be heard (personally, I’m expecting a loud BOOM!!)” Ahhh, brings me back to those halcyon days of “Peace In Our Time.” Yeah, those lucky Brits were living the high life, untouched during the Thousand Year Reich…Anyhoo, the people blame us, the new government blames us and says all kinds of nice things about Bush and America in general, instead of saying all kinds of nice things about the “Freedom Fighters” who actually dialed the cell phone detonator.
    And now I, as a dumb American, just can’t understand why Mr. Bush is a little “peeved” at the nation of ostriches who want to stick their collective heads in the sand, while leaving their rumps exposed for the terrorists to, uh, well, give them the business. Yes, I do mean “being a wife in the prison sense.”
    Mr. Aznar said, “hey, vote for Kerry, ‘cuz Bush sucks.” But hey, this is only a disagreement among “friends,” right? Never mind that the new government, with the blessing of its pipples, is doing a 180, in favor of appeasement, and pretty much vows to make obstructionism a new way of life, a la our other “allies” in France and Germany (Hey — uh, Sam? No hard feelings, right?? We’re still your friends — you can trust us, really. You gonna throw us a bone in Iraq? Yeah…Yeah, we’re cool — so, uh…why are you laughing like that???).
    And yes, there are Spanish troops over in Afghanistan and Bosnia, but you can’t give the credit to the Socialists — they had nothing to do with it. And yes, they are still there, but I think that’s only because they still haven’t quite figured out teleportation of their troops on a mass scale.
    Remember my friend, THEY said that Bush sucked, and THEY turned their backs on their allies, not the other way around. And unfortunately, THEY will suffer at the hands of the bullies who thrive on weakness. “Hey, getting his lunch money was easy — I think I’ll do it again!”…and again, and again, and so on, and so forth.

  22. Rockbiter

    Oops, my boo-boo.
    I said Mr. Aznar told everyone that Bush sucks. My mistake. It was actually Mr. Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (bet you can’t say that three times fast — or maybe you can?), the FNG that said that. Mr. Aznar was our friend. My humblest apologies, Mr. Aznar.

  23. Rockbiter

    Oops, my boo-boo.
    I said Mr. Aznar told everyone that Bush sucks. My mistake. It was actually Mr. Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (bet you can’t say that three times fast — or maybe you can?), the FNG that said that. Mr. Aznar was our friend. My humblest apologies, Mr. Aznar.

  24. Rockbiter

    Oops, my boo-boo.
    I said Mr. Aznar told everyone that Bush sucks. My mistake. It was actually Mr. Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (bet you can’t say that three times fast — or maybe you can?), the FNG that said that. Mr. Aznar was our friend. My humblest apologies, Mr. Aznar.

  25. Rockbiter

    Oops, my boo-boo.
    I said Mr. Aznar told everyone that Bush sucks. My mistake. It was actually Mr. Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero (bet you can’t say that three times fast — or maybe you can?), the FNG that said that. Mr. Aznar was our friend. My humblest apologies, Mr. Aznar.

  26. Pedro

    I’m spanish and I was just looking for some ‘dumb americans’ like your president bush to argue about this subject. You keep a stupid asshole as your president, he’s making this world more and more dangerous and violent, and we say NO to his absolute control, we said NO to MR Aznar, who is a simple puppy in Bush’ hands. We WANT another kind of politics in our country. You, dumb americans, can do what the fuck you want, and you probably will do, but SPANISH people say NO to your assasin ways. You’re worst than islamic terrorists, or at least, just the fucking SAME. And yes, BUSH SUCKS.

  27. M. Simon

    Pedro,
    I note Hamas decided it was not wise to fook with Americans.
    I note lots of bombs on the rail ways of Europe.
    You got to hand it to them terrorists they understand the Spanish message.
    Enjoy the new Europe Pedro. You deserve it.

  28. Pedro

    Do I deserve it? Hell no, of course not. We DO NOT deserve this kind of terrorism, not even those who started all this, I mean, north americans. If we had this brutal attack on 11thMarch is because Mr. Aznar supported the dummy ideas of a monkey called ‘Bush’. That has been his contribution to the people of Spain, being killed. Oh, great country USA, yes, great politicians. Arnold Schwarzenegger as the governor of California, Bush as the president. Great hollywood film, what’s its name? Men, you’re absolutely hilarious. What about chosing Sylvester Stallone as the secretary of defense? Ha ha… men, you better get back to earth and stop dreaming of a white christmas. With people like Bush we don’t need more terrorists. He is THE ONE. Go ahead and reelect this moron. You deserve it.

  29. Pedro

    Oh, by the way, this kind of ‘New Europe’ is a direct consequence of the influence that your president and his exterior politics has had in our lives. Oh, thank you, great job. Nowadays we have TWO kind of terrorists fu**ing with us, we can choose the one we want: ETA or the islamic. Ouauh… is this what you call FREEDOM, uh? And if you think Bin Laden has finished his job in your country, man, you’re as blind as this kind of jerk that you have as your president. I saw him on TV yesterday making fun of the ‘massive destruction weapons’ in a dinner. Wow, great comedian!! What a sense of humour!! Terrific!!

  30. Strider

    Hey Pedro —
    As long as you’re cracking jokes about those craaazy American actors in politics, let’s not forget former movie star Ronald Reagan. You know, the guy who became president and subsequently brought down the Soviet union without firing a single shot, while simultaneously priming the pump on roughly 20 years of unprecedented economic growth?
    That’s all a side issue, however (but one that you brought into the conversation). The real issue at hand is this: You just go on believing what you believe. Make nice with the terrorists and they’ll be nice to you. But don’t be surprised when they bomb the crap out of you _again_ just as soon as you fail to kowtow and hand them whatever they want, whenever they want it. These people (Al Quaeda) have no loyalty, and no morals. They are rabid dogs who will foam and snap at anything that moves; so I hope that Spain is very very good at standing very, very still.
    No Loyalty. Hmm… sounds kind of like some other group of people I can think of.

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