Things to do in Raleigh When You’re Trapped, Trapped, Trapped.

Clean the house. Repeatedly. With toothbrushes.
Watch Blue’s Clues, Wiggles, Thomas, Mr. Rogers. Repeat cycle 4 times a day, until you feel your brain liquefying and dribbling out of your ears.
Put Beethoven’s Fifth on and lead toddler in weird interpretive dance/sprint around the den in last-ditch attempt to tire him out enough for a nap. Tire self out enough for a nap, but not toddler.
Go outside. Fall down. Attempt to retrieve stranded weiner beagle from neighbor’s azalea. Fall down. Figure “What the hell, let’s go three for three,” and attempt to check mail. Fall down and slide into ditch. Realize that comedic figures on America’s Funniest Videos probably use winnings to pay hospital bills.
Remain in ditch as crazed neighbor from across the street does doughnuts on iced-over road, veering crazily hither and thither. Think fondly of civilized, heated, non-skid workplace, which is mercifully free of four wheelers, ice, and Mr. Rogers.
Watch in amazement as neighbors up the street ice skate down the middle of the road.
Drink hot chocolate until caffeine triggers urge to drag toddler around outside on pizza pan with dog leash attached. Fall down a lot. Amuse toddler.
Come back inside, thaw out, decide to clean house.
Repeat as necessary until sun makes reappearance.

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