(VH) Scores of paranoid billionaires leapt into action today, as news of a new “gadget” hit the street. A collaboration, it seems, consisting of American, Israeli, and Russian firms, the new toy has all the makings of a winner and, at the very least, should challenge the record set by last year’s top-seller, Sharklaser 2.1.
Reports coming out of London have oddsmakers placing their lines in favor of renowned gizmo-fiend, Paul Allen, followed closely by his former partner, Bill Gates, getting his hands on the gadget first.
“Our own lines show Gates with an edge over Allen, but that Russian cat who owns the soccer club in England has seen the heaviest action, of late,” offered Las Vegas casino floor boss, Rocco Torre.
“Either way, all these guys are gonna want to get their hands on one of these dohickeys. To service our vip clients, we intend to join the hunt for these, ourselves. Cause, heh, the ability to remote-hack these [expletive removed] before they hit the entourage…I mean, fuhgeddaboudit. The ‘whale’ community is gonna want it.”
No word on the price or actual name of the product, yet, but as Mr. Donald Trump was recorded earlier as saying, “If you have to ask…”
Hollywood, too, seems intent on getting in on the action, though few seem willing to go on record as having the desire – much less need – for one.
“I understand that it’s called ‘Preempto‘, but no, I am not at liberty to divulge whether or not Barbra is looking into acquiring one,” stated one Streisand security official who wished to rename nameless. “We take seriously any threats to Barbra’s person, and as such, are always on the lookout for new ways to maintain her security. That said, we will never advertise the methods we employ in keeping her safe from attacks.”
(Cross-posted at Velvet Hammers)