Terror in the tub

What do 3 year old kids fear most?
Is it Monsters under the bed?
Is it Lions around the corner?
Is it Dinosaurs behind the door?
Not quite.
It’s a Poo in the Bath.
I recall the events of a few nights ago…

The boys play happily in the bath, screaming with delight and splashing copious amounts of water onto the tiles and onto me while I continue my vigil. Keeping watch from above like a sailor in the Crow’s Nest of Captain Cook’s Endeavour, searching for hidden coral reefs and other hazards.
Then off in the distance of the deep end I spot it. “POO AHOY!!”
Nothing seems to strike fear into a 3 year old more than the phrase “someone did a poo in the bath!” and the prospect of their 22 month old brother’s floater brushing up against them.
The announcement of this nauseating arrival sees him floundering frantically in attempt to throw himself out of the bath before he comes into contact with it. Screams and cries soon follow until we are able to evacuate everyone from the danger area and onto the relative safety of the bath mat.
Of course just like watching someone get hit in the goolies, from a distance it is all quite funny and we had a big laugh about it (that is until it was time for me to clean it out. I still dry retch whenever this duty is called upon). Being right there in the think of it when a collision with this disgusting sea mine seems imminent it is quite a different story though.
I still have flash backs