An amicus curiae brief on behalf of McDonald’s

Across the country, numerous lawsuits have been filed against McDonald’s restaurants in attempts to place legal liability on the burger chain for contributing to the obesity of the plaintiffs.
I have conducted a test during the past two weeks. I am six-foot-one, almost two weeks away from turning 43 years old, and at the beginning of the test weighed 180 pounds. I’ve ordered five super-sized Quarter Pounder w/ cheese meals. The nutrition for the burger, fries, and drink is as follows:
Calories: 770 + 610 + 410 = 1790
Fat (grams): 47 + 29 + 0 = 76
Saturated Fat (grams): 20 + 5 + 0 = 25
Carbohydrates (grams): 39 + 77 + 113 = 229
During the test period diet has otherwise remained unchanged: large bowl of cereal and fruit for breakfast, sandwich and 6-ounce serving of vegetables for lunch, and supper courses such as spaghetti and meatballs, fish and rice, and the occasional 1100-calorie 16-oz TV dinner. I drink very few sugared beverages during the week, preferrig tea sweetened w/ Sweet-n-Low. I jog 15 minutes per day on a jogging trampoline; otherwise, my lifestyle is sedentery.
After two weeks my weight has remained unchanged at 180 pounds. While my sugar intake is lower than that of the average American, my metabolism is slower than that of many of the plaintiffs, especially those who are children. If two to three visits per week have failed to result in long-term weight gain, one or more of the following statements must be true about each of the plaintiffs:
1) The plaintiffs are making far too many trips to McDonald’s.
2) The plaintiffs are consuming too many foods and beverages at home.
3) The plaintiffs are getting even less exercise than I am.

Advertisements

One comment

  1. wayne

    I work on the road 5 days a week, normal lunch, bk meal with no catsup / onion. total weight gain in 10 plus years 5 pounds.