Well. Elephants Yeah!
I’m Al Maviva. Sasha has garaciously extended a spot to me as a guest blogger. At this point, I’d like to suggest that she say the traditional prayer of the English infantry, recited just before they went over the top in 1916, into the teeth of German machine gun fire: “For what we are about to receive, oh Lord, let us be truly grateful.”
The background on me is I was an astronaut once, until the apes evolved and took over the planet. Now I’m stuck in this cage, with this hot chick who doesn’t speak too well… wait a minute, that is Planet of the Apes, not me.
I was a blogger once, and went away for a while. Sasha found me hanging out in a run down bar, wearing a five year old suit, a three week old beard, and a two day old hangover. She picked me up, gave me a bath, and said, “you’ll do.” Thanks to her, I have the self respect to blog once again. I’m working through my issues, cleaning up my act, and bathing occasionally once again. Back to normal, in other words. Though Sasha remains scarred from the experience.
And no matter what anyone says, least of all Jim Treacher, I ain’t Jim Treacher.
Because I’m a highly effective writer, and I once took a course called “How to be a Highly Effective Writer”, I’ll give you a forecast of what to expect.
I have some training in literature, and the arts. I was a paratrooper for a while too. And I’m a biker. And hunter. And I do contact sports – mainly rugby, but a little dumbass barfighting on occasion – only finishing, rarely starting, and usually cleaning up messes for my dumber friends. That’s my story anyhow, and I’m sticking to it, copper. I’m rapidly approaching middle age, though I’m not there yet. I partied with Oliver Reed; he’s dead, I’m still alive, what’s left of my liver is solid as a rock, and that’s all you need to know about that. I’m presently suffering from a bad case of adult onset lawyering, but that will change as soon as I figure out a way to
land my bank account in fat city become a wealthy and responsible pillar of my community.
So now you’re thinking “slightly off kilter hooligan with, um, issues,” and that’s good. If that’s your assessment, we’re communicating effectively. See? I told you that writing course was useful.
What this means to you is I’ve got a wide variety of opinions that I’m willing to share, some of them even tempered by book learning and experience. But probably just as often, I’m as full of crap as you are. So I’m gonna bloviate a bit, hopefully back it up with some facts, and if you have any guts, you’ll use the comments section to set me straight.
Fair warning – I come from a libertarian/conservative background. I’m spending my off-time educating myself, trying to read Kirk, and Hayek, and maybe even some Rawls just for flavor. So support your arguments with facts, and/or some ideas cribbed from the great men; and don’t try and pass Chomsky off as a great man.
For my part, I’ll try to back up my assertions, argue rationally, and treat you with respect. Hopefully you will do the same — though if you don’t we can race to the bottom quite comfortably together. I’m happy enough there, though in blogging, I’m hoping to do something a little better than throwing feces. If I wanted to chuck turds, I’d go to Free Republic or the like, and indulge myself. Not that there is anything wrong with that — it’s just not my bag.
So come along with me for a little walk through the issues of the day.
I’ll try like hell to hold up my end, and be useful to you, explaining why you had a gut reaction to something, or acting as a foil with which you can disagree. It’s my job to start the argument, and your job to critique me, and to call me out if you think I’m wrong, or just puncture me a bit if I’m being a gasbag.
I think it will be fun.