Devil’s Definitions of Politics

anarchist n. A person who believes that all government is dishonest,
corrupt, and intrinsically unfair. In other times, this has been called
wisdom.
conservative n. One who has raised selfishness to the level of an art form. See liberal.
fascist n. Any person who is two steps to the political right of the speaker, unless the speaker is an anarcho-syndicalist, in which case, everyone is a fascist.
liberal n. One who has elevated whining to the level of self-avowed sainthood. See conservative.
lobbyist n. 1. Someone who is handsomely paid to put other?s money where his
mouth is. 2. An individual whose defining characteristic is self-interest.
nihilist n. A person who believes that things are so bad that they can only get better by getting worse. While this may seem silly, after a few mugging, a few hits of acid, or a few keelhaulings, it has a certain masochistic rationality to it. Seppuku is less strenuous, however.
radical adj. Any person two steps to the political left of the speaker, unless the speaker is under twenty, in which case the person must also be under twenty, make more than one million a year, and know at least 3 chords, none of which are Minor 7ths Similar to way cool, which has nothing to do with distance, temperature, or the ability to read.
socialist n. A person who believes that people have an intrinsic right to the necessities of life. Socialism comes in a variety of degrees, ranging from the rightist socialism of 1930?s Germany (Necessities: beer, bread, and bonfires), the mainstream socialism of England (Necessities: beer, bread, soccer, and post-soccer health care), to the leftist socialism of Sweden (Necessities: beer, broads, and soccer, pre & post beer, broads, and soccer health care). Russian socialism, though a failed venture, had the necessities pegged as vodka, tobacco, and detox.

From: Revised Devil’s Dixtionary

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4 comments

  1. Walton

    Please,I have want you to help me with an assignment.The assignment is “critically examine the art-science debate on politics?”
    I shall be very greatful if I have an answer before coming Tuesday.